my favorite part of Eclipse

My favorite part of Eclipse: After the vampire battle, when the Volturi are coming through the woods, the TArdis lands right between the two groups of vampires, and Doctor Who comes out and reveals that they really aren't vampires, just a misunderstood alien race from another dimension, and then Amy Pond runs out of the Tardis and a newborn vampire bites her, and the Doctor had to find a way to cure her, but the only way to do that was for Edward to suck out the venom, but Edward was stuck in one of his awkward-pause speech loops and the Doctor realized that Edward is actually a robot, so the Doctor had to invent a machine that would do it. He saved Amy and offered to take the vampires back to their own planet, but they refused because they like ruling the world and enslaving humanity. The Cullens, being wimpy and all, decided they liked the idea, but when they tried to go inside the TARDIS, the Volturi shot lasers out of their eyes and blew them all up. They tried to shoot the Doctor and Amy, but he was able to reconfigure the sonic screwdriver to reflect back the eye-lasers and they blew themselves up.

oh...wait...that didn't really happen. I sort of blanked about about halfway through the movie and started making stuff up... LOL

Twilight: Eclipse, or why I nearly went insane last night

My sister in law took me as a present for my birthday, which was yesterday....despite the fact that I generally avoid anything and everything Twilight related. And I still stand by that...that Cullens looked more plastic than ever--seriously, if they can do natural-looking pale makeup in OLD movies (yes, that movie is old to me LOL) like INterview with the Vampire, then you'd think Hollywood could manage it in modern times. They also did it at the end of New Moon wehn we see Bella running after Edward in the woods, post-change, in Alice's vision (although that is a kick-buttingly-cool CG filter). The thick, grainy, nonconforming 'pale' pancake makeup and horrific brassy blonde dye jobs looked horrible and uncomfortable. They looked like zombies trying to cover up the decay with cosmetics. You could see the makeup caked up at their hairlines.

The 'seduction' scene was...creepy, and the characters all kissed like they were told to make fish-lips and pulse their faces together. And there was just way too much slooooooow, head-pulsing kissing. I'm sorry, I've never kissed anybody and moved my head back and forth that much, and if anybody ever tried to kiss me like that, I told them to stop.

The 'witty' dialogue was so not witty, and I come to realize that both Pattinson and Stewart possess the acting range of potatoes. They, much like Megan Fox, cycle through the same three angst-ridden facial expressions: "Angst" "A little more angsty" and "Oh God the Emo is Killing Me Angsty". Stewart has slack-jawed expression on her face that reminds me of someone who has stewed their minds on crack for way too long. I expected her to start drooling at any moment. And the sad thing is, she acts like that in real life, if her interviews on the various tv shows are any indictation. Gollee, girl, GET OFF THE CRACK. The bloodless shattering battle...yikes. I was extremely glad I loaded up on tequila before I went into the theater. LOL

BUt, all that being said, the production values in this chapter of the 'saga' were much better than the others, and the soundtrack is just as good as the previous two. And the girl that played Bree Tanner was so, so flippin' cute.

And I learned a valuable lesson. I hate teenage girls. I'm giving my girls away when they turn 13. LOL.

Back from Romantic Times!

It was lots of fun! I think it was one of the more productive conventions I've attended. I sat next to Karen Rose at the bookfair. I love her. She's so funny and nice. I pitched to an agent and turned into a babbling fool. Didn't help that one of the Mr. Romance competitors stood behind the agent making faces at me while I tried to pitch! But the agent asked for a partial and a synopsis, so maybe I wasn't too spastic and whacked out.

Cool thing- when I got home, I got a phone call from a graphic design place I applied to! Interview tomorrow!

I did it.

I got the spray tan. I'm slightly splotchy, have a big poop-colored stain on the outside edge of my right palm, and have a very dark patch that makes the shadow between my cleavage look dirty, but I'm tan. I have a tan butt. That's very interesting to me. I have never seen my ass anything but a white to bright and pristine it was virtually pearly. Bad news is it only lasts about 7 days, so I have to keep redoing it. So they say. I'm lazy and broke most of the time, so I'm only doing this for special occasions.

Romantic Times Booklovers Con will be one of those special times. You betcha I'll be there, and be tan!

I'm going to be pitching Winterborn with a passion. I hope to get there and be able to sign up for an appointment with MElissa Ann Singer of Tor, because she's looking for horror and her schedule for Friday is open. I think I'm going to fire off a query to her ahead of time.

I'm sitting at Panera BRead watching this woman cut up her salad. She's been cutting up this same salad for about ten minutes now. She has completely shredded it. I wonder why? Another woman just walked by on wedge heels so high she wobbled when she walked. Why? You KNOW it's uncomfortable.

I'm almost done with my research paper for english class. I'm doing it on modern feminism and the nbegative influence of gynocentric or militant feminism on the movement as a whole. Yeah, lemme tell ya, it's a lot harder than it seems!

Sunday night

Happy Easter, everybody. Did you eat as much caramel-filled candy as I did? Bet you didn't. And me supposedly trying to lose weight for Romantic Times BL Convention! (do you hear my derisive laughter?)

Nothing on TV to watch tonight except for old Futurama reruns. No big deal though. I love this show. I'd tattoo the cast on my ass, if I had the money. The Futurama cast on one side, LUR included, and the Simpson's on the other side. Yes. My ass is big enough to hold both casts.

I'm debating if I want to get a tan the old-fashioned, dangerous way (the sun) or if I want to pony up the cash for a spray tan. My laziness dictates option B, but my wallet says option A.

I read Dahlia Roddy's (Dalia Rody?) latest Medallion Press book. I can't remember the title. It took a full half of the book to fully capture my interest. It wasn't a bad story, just a little complicated, and the reason for the 'black out' was hard to really grasp. The structure of the story was very 'The Stand'-like, although I thought Roddy had a good theory about post-apocalyptic society a few years in, economically. The ending was a little anticlimactic and it almost felt rushed, like things happened just because it was time to end the book rather than when the story dictated it should end.

Will have a review up at PRetty-Scary and SwampDweller at some point this week.

I'm plotting out a couple of horror novels. I need to write something that I can submit to an agent! Winterborn is with Sandy Lu of the L. Perkins Agency, so I'm hoping to hear back from her soon. It's getting close to the 12 weeks she said it would take. I have two story options-- one Rosemary's Baby-ish, but with aliens. I want to write about aliens, for some reason. Ideas been done, but I hope to have a unique spin on it. It's been a while since I've read a book with that theme. Another idea is sort of a sci-fi horror novel, in the vein of Total Recall (and other Philip K. Dick stories), but not quite. I have that one fleshed out pretty well, and the other I'm going to work on tomorrow while I'm ignoring my math teacher (and failing the class...LOL).

Wednesday

Finally wrote the ishy squishy love scene in Dark Consort. I've actually written about four of them so far. It has to happen in the book, but I'm having trouble PLACING it. It's a little frustrating.

I got a new eHarmony match today. One of his 'must haves' is his partner must be considered very attractive by society. Uh...why'd he want to get matched with me? I'm the epitome of NOT considered attractive by society! *laughs* But I have really awesome boobs, so it's not an issue.

The Romantic Times Booklover's convention is coming up. IN like four weeks. I had this goal of losing 15 pounds by then, but I think I'm going to settle for fitting into my size 14's comfortable. Yeah. Must easier. I'll save the major weight loss thing for post-RT, for Josh and Renee's wedding and the CONtext and AAD this summer.

I've got some new rules for art commissions now. I got stiffed, again, so there goes my natural good nature. From now on, for commissions under $100, I get paid up front. Over $100, pay half up front. I will not send watermark-free files until the second half of payment is in my account.

Wow.

I wish I wrote this book: And Falling, Fly by Skyler White

http://www.amazon.com/Falling-Fly-Skyler-White/dp/0425232344/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269751456&sr=8-1

It has got to be the single most elegant, gorgeous, amazingly written book I've ever read.

Look for an official review of the book at www.pretty-scary.net soon!